How do kids feel when they've been sexually abused?

Emotions can be complex when it comes to sexual abuse and confusing for children to understand.

In some cases, sexual touching can feel good and the child may even care greatly for or even love the perpetrator.  Many times the person that perpetrates the abuse is someone that is close to the family and the child. The perpetrator takes advantage of the trust the family has for him/her and grooms the child to ensure their compliance. 

It’s normal to have multiple emotions about the abuse. Some children may feel sad, mad, scared, and even guilty.

Emotions about sexual abuse tend to be very complex, causing some confusion as there may be emotions that seem to contradict the other. For instance, if the child loves the perpetrator, they may have conflicting feelings of love and shame. If the child is being threatened to keep silence, they may feel fear, sadness, anger, and/or guilt which may be difficult to process. 

As adults, it can be difficult to understand how a child could feel guilty for something they are unable to control. Children are meant to be protected by adults and it's always the adult's responsibility to keep them safe, so how is it that a child could think they are responsible? If a child's reaction is to freeze or dissociate during the abuse, they could feel as though they did nothing to stop or prevent it from happening, making it their fault. If they don't tell anyone right away, they may feel like it might be too late to disclose and therefore, are at fault. Other times, they simply believe that because it happened, they allowed it to occur. 

Regardless of the emotions they are experiencing, they tend to impact the child's mood, thoughts, and behaviors. Sometimes anger can lead to aggressiveness and sadness can lead to isolation or inability to be alone. The emotions experienced by a child are not limited to the ones previously named, but they tend to be unpleasant, distressing, and complex.