How can I tell if my child is or was sexually abused?

There is no sure way to confirm if they’ve been sexually abused simply by observing their behavior, but there are some signs you can look out for in your child. Keep in mind that some of these symptoms may have been caused by other things. 

Pay attention to any changes in emotions or behaviors such as the following: 

• Nightmares or difficulty sleeping 
  • This might be easier to note if you have a smaller child that seeks you for support in the middle of the night due to nightmares, or maybe wakes up crying because they wet the bed when they don't have a history of bed wetting. They may also be tossing and turning at night and not able to fall asleep.
• Isolating from friends and/or family  
  • This type of isolating behavior will be noticeable regardless of your child's age. You will notice that they do not want to spend time with the family and maybe even friends. Teenage moodiness is real, but there is a distinction between irritability and annoyance (as it is common with pre-teens and teens) and inability to interact with others. 
• Being on-edge or irritable  
  • Like I mentioned above, being on-edge or irritable can be common for certain ages but it usually is not their permanent state. If you notice your child always feeling upset, note that as a red flag. 
• Overly cautious of their surroundings or anxious  
  • Children are not cautious by nature. Children are carefree and tend to be in the moment. Having a child that is cautious of their surroundings and constantly checking for potential harm is a red flag. Do note though that this is about being overly cautious or anxious about their surroundings. Some children can be cautious by nature and consider dangers of actions or activities but do not feel threatened by their environment. 
• Low mood/depressed 
  • This could include isolation and difficulty with sleep as discussed above. It could also look like not wanting to do things they once enjoyed. You may notice your child constantly sad or a lack energy they once had. 
• Avoiding specific people, places, or events 
  • Your child may have once enjoyed going to someone's house or at some point had a close relationship with someone but suddenly, they no longer want to go. Maybe they ask you not to go to work and stay with them when they know they will be cared for by a specific person. 
• Sexual knowledge, language, and/or behaviors that are inappropriate for their age  
  • Children tend to develop curiosity around sexuality and will ask questions, play games, or make comments. Smaller children may want to explore body parts and understand the differences in bodies, older children may play house, pre-teens and teens might begin questioning what sex is and how it happens, his is all part of their development. Advanced knowledge or language is not.